Yeah, I understand man. I'm a guy who has really hard time to make up decisions, I can change my mind within mere seconds from something to another thing. I can promise, if I get into HTD? I'll do everything to stay, and never leave.
I have a motivation to join HTD, I have a reason to join, I won't leave.
And if you didn't see, I wrote that Hawks gave me inspiration, when I see him play and when I see him on the server.